Super Dads

Men sometimes get a bum rap.  Usually due to the men who really are worthless.  You know them, the child abusers, the wife beaters, the rapists or molesters, the neglecters, the dead beats who leave or just sit around living off the government.  They are the poor examples & the ones who generally make the news.  They are the ones who overshadow the good guys.

Years ago when my husband was only a friend he told me that girls only want the bad boys that they can have fun with and eventually “change”.   He said it was tough being a decent man and get a date.  I wasn’t sure if I understood it then, but I did after years of watching friends go for unchangeable men.  Honestly I’m not sure why some women think it’s a personal challenge to change another person, but it’s silly in my humble opinion.  Women don’t want men to change them so why would a man want anything different?

So I’m grateful that the friendship with my husband matured into something more.  He’s not one of the bad examples.  Sure he was raised in the old fashion ways of male dominance and female submission, but his nature denied that inequality.  Instead of following in the example of control he chose to want an equal partnership. 

Our marriage of 20 years hasn’t always been easy, but it is filled with respect.  When I have a dream he supports it fully.  This was demonstrated during my BAK ride.  My husband was my personal SAG.  He spent many boring hours waiting for me to cycle a few miles and ensuring that my basic food, water, and safety needs were met.  I’m a very fortunate woman to have him.  Our children are even luckier to have him as a dad.

He is one of the super dads.  Over the years he has sacrificed his wants to ensure our children receive music lessons, play sports, participate in robotics, and have the childhood he only dreamed of having.  When I feel guilty that he can’t join us for a regional competitive event because of work his consistent remark is that he’s happy to supply the means.  When the kids need to complete a mechanical or scientific project requiring more expertise than I have, their dad (my husband), will make the time to teach.  When all three made the decision to work away from home for the summer he unselfishly gave up his Fathers Day with them. 

This love of others is also extended to children not biologically related.  His rare free moments are unselfishly given to teens in scouting.  He has given up vacation time to lead camps and teach astronomy skills, treating all equally to his own blood.  All while being imperfect and accepting that he makes mistakes.

In many ways he reminds me of my own imperfect yet perfect father.  A man who stepped up to teach his girls how to hunt, raise crops, and pitch a baseball.  He wouldn’t allow gender to determine how his girls behaved or what they learned about life.  Nor did he neglect showing how a man should treat a women.  I remember growing up with the full knowledge that my parents were equal.  There was also no doubt that they loved one another.  I suppose he provided the example of what I should look for in a man.

As a result I found my husband who is my best friend and a super dad to our children.  My sisters found equally wonderful men.  One lives the example of marriage balance and business success.  The other has given his all to children who aren’t his by blood but who are his in every other way.  All four, (grandpa and three dads) are best friends to their wives and examples of manhood to their children. 

It is too bad that these types of men do not receive the recognition they so deserve, but then again they would be too humble and busy being living examples to take the time to be in the limelight. They are after all super dads, and I for one am honored to know each.

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